You made me cry and you don't even care
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
