Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I currently don't understand fingers.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
