That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
