After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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