Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
time to smoke my breakfast
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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