I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have feelings that need drinking.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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