'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
