I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
did i just pee glitter
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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