Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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