i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
