fuck your aforementioned shoe
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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