I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
