dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she was so not down for the gang bang
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
