if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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