Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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