he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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