There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
