On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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