I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
