Buhtt sex?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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