watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
