Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Randomize
