that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
