You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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