I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
