okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
