genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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