So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Oh god it's open bar.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
