Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
