took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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