what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize