remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
