Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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