next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
