WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
