make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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