just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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