Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
