she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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