My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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