dude i'm inner monologue high
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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