I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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