I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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