Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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