I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
