brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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