yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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