Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
