I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
