TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
