The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
