I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
