my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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