So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
