Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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