omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
