Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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